I became a Mom... I never taught I could be!

I become a Mom, I never taught I could be.... 

When I'm thinking and reminiscing about my childhood,  I couldn't stop myself to compare mine to the two little girls  I have on my side now.  It's different specially from the fact that we are in a different situation.  But...  everytime I see them happy with ME,  I think that thing don't matter.

As I have my guts to finally start writing my thoughts this way,  I want to start it by sharing the whole story a lot had been asking me ever since...  I am a SINGLE MOM  of TWO.

how did that happen? 

I have my first baby when I was 17 years old,  Aaahhhh!  Too young to be a Mom. I have her on February 3, 2008 and on that day she changed my life as I now need to be not only a MOM but a DAD to her as well. I admit that at first,  FEAR is always there.  I am afraid  that at my young age,  I may not be able to raise her and give her a better life, any Mom would love to have for her kid. 

Trivia: The day I am going to Hospital to deliver Chezca, is the day He ignored us as we cross our path.

But just like any other girl, as I raise Chloe alone,  I also love to give her a complete family. With her Dad,  consistent on asking another chance and with my heart still hoping for a happy ending...  I said YES the second time around,  with an another chapter of our relationship, a son had been there,  sadly... God let me have him into my arms for just a month as He pass away with just a snap. I'm so devastated that time as I lost my son...  I choose to be alone,  AGAIN. 

Shame on you,  if you fool me once...  Shame on me if you fool me twice, but what's next if it happened thrice? 

Yes!  Another chance had been given as I hope for another hope but fail again... 😭

The day I found out I was pregnant with Chezca is also the day I have realized this relationship really won't work. As I see that no better future will be there for only for me,  but for my kids as well if I still pursue to be with him. Thanks to my family deciding to be a single Mom is tough and hard but had been made smoothly. 

TYARAAAN!  Chezca is here!  I always say that she is my MIND and SOUL opener...  She had made me realize that my heart might beat but it doesn't mean I should always follow it. 

Follow your heart!!!!  As the day pass by and I see them grow...  My heart also starts to have a new beat.  A beat that's only meant for this two kids.

As I move on from all the failures,  I have accepted that this is God's plan for me. And as God's creation,  I am here obligingly and lovingly do and enjoy the title he gave me. 

I enjoy my life as a Mom...  A single Mom who double herself to make sure that I can be a Daddy as well. 

Timing as it is...  As we celebrate Father's Day.  I'm so glad I was finally able to share my story. I am sharing it so that hopefully I can inspire others specially a single Mom like me to always be brave. We might all have different stories to share but at the end of it the little creatures God gave us is what matters most.  He our God knew his plan and he choose this plan for us because He knows we can do it...  Good and great!!! 

Happy Father's Day to all!